Ann Coulter Founds Naked Dating Club


Filed Under Articles

Palm Beach, FL: Columnist Ann Coulter has announced she is starting a new, online subscription-based naked dating club. “It is for busy people like myself who don’t have the time for traditional dating rituals.” she said. “It is entirely internet based, though ultimately the goal is for the dating couples to meet in person. Naked of course.”

Coulter says the club will concentrate on traditional, christian, right-wing American family values and that ‘liberals, Democrats and ‘outed’ homosexuals need not apply’. “But, traditional type Neocon perverts are OK as long as they are discreet.” Coulter remarked. “Folks like Senator Larry Craig, or ex Representative Mark Foley are entirely welcome for example - as long as there’s no ‘outing’ and no publicity.”

The club will feature online listings similar to current internet dating sites Coulter said. “But, with one big difference. My site will encourage the postings of pictures of others, not yourself. This is to encourage dating successes since many people like myself, are not themselves very photogenic. So, subscribers will be free to use any picture they choose - actresses, actors, whatever. Eventually, we will provide an online library of pictures for people to choose from to use.”

“Sure, it is duplicitous,” said Coulter. ‘but, that is the American way as I see it.”

“And, speaking for myself, I certainly plan to use someone else’s picture. What person in their right mind is gonna want to date a mannish looking giraffe like me with a prominent adam’s apple? The ends justify the means.”

Coulter said she expected Karl Rove to become a charter member.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

 

Tags: , , ,

Comments

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.