Sexual incompatibility troubles marriages

He’s a 38-year-old executive. She’s a 34-year-old homemaker. He says they never fight, and in many ways they’re compatible — but not when it comes to sex.

“It’s almost like a checklist,” says Jon (who asked that his real name not be used) of their once-a-month lovemaking. The problem, he believes, is a lack of desire.

Sexually unfulfilling marriages aren’t limited to new parents or aging baby boomers with hormone imbalances. They can ensnare even the relatively young and the recently married. When they are unable to blame kids, stress or physical issues, many couples struggle unhappily to identify — and resolve — the problems behind their lackluster sex life.

Couples end up in sexually unfulfilling marriages for a variety of reasons, says Marty Klein, a licensed marriage counselor and certified sex therapist in Palo Alto, California. One reason, he says, is America’s obsession with marriage.

This article goes on to focus on warning signs and to debunk the common belief that sexuality fades over time. Sex is a very real part of a healthy relationship - if your relationship lacks sex, most everything else fades from there.

Why not take time to learn the warning signs and avoid falling into an unfulfilling relationship to begin with?

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5 things you don’t know about genital herpes

1. Common but on the decline: Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older have had genital herpes, a sexually transmitted disease caused by the herpes simplex viruses type 1 or type 2. It’s more common in women (about one in four) than men (almost one in eight).

2. Symptoms: Most people who have genital herpes have never had symptoms or don’t recognize them. When a person becomes infected for the first time, symptoms usually appear within two to 10 days. Early signs include a tingling feeling or itching in the genital area, or pain in the buttocks or down the leg. Blisters typically appear on or around the genitals or rectum. You can still infect a partner if sores aren’t visible.

3. New research: Clinical trials are testing drugs aimed at disrupting genes or enzymes that the virus needs to survive. Several vaccines are in various stages of development, as well as gels or creams that a woman could insert into the vagina before sex to prevent infection in herself and her partner.

4. Pregnancy: If a woman has her first episode of genital herpes while she’s pregnant, she can pass the virus to her unborn child and may deliver a premature baby. Half of the babies infected with herpes either die or suffer from damage to their nerves. If a pregnant woman has an outbreak and it is not the first one, her baby’s risk of being infected during delivery is very low.

5. Donating blood: People with herpes can donate blood. According to the American Red Cross, individuals taking antiviral medication (acyclovir, valacyclovir, famciclovir) will need to wait 48 hours after their last dose before donating blood. However, they should not donate blood during a herpes outbreak.